Big Brother 8 Daniele Donato Live Journal: Jan 2003 - Jun 2003

My grandpa is a wonderful guy. This morning my grandma was being the biggest jerkoff ever. So I called my grandpa crying because I didnt know what to do. He missed work and picked me up and we played hooky together.

-Went to Breakfast
-Went shopping
-Went to Huntington Beach
-Went to Seal Beach
-Drove Around a long time

It was so nice. Looking off the peer onto the water gives you so much to think about. I love my grandpa so much. Him and Joey are the only people who mean anything to me anymore.

I hate my life so much! It only ever gets worse. I can never talk about it to anyone, so I just hav to keep it all in. Do you have any idea what its like to fake a smile everyday.. it gets old fast. Why can't I be happy?

Why do I always take picture when I'm sad?

So yeah...

I'm in need of a drastic change. lol I want to chop all my hair off and dye/bleach the crap out of it. I'm just looking for that PERFECT hair cut. So..
If anyone has any cute pictures of cute Mod/Emo/Indie styles send me my way. It would be greatly appreciated! Thanx ever so much xxx

Finals can rot in Hell. Until then.. Pictures?
On the Freeway



Yours truely... <3

My Troll's Trip to Chuck E. Cheese's


Now back to studying...

So kids, here is a picture of how I am soon to cut my hair...


I'm thinking of going bleach blonde and black underneath. but im scared my hair will all fall out. We'll see. But don't ask me when.. Im not sure. Soon I hope but it just depends on when I go see my mom (i get my hair done up there) :D

Dani hardly writes in her LJ anymore she thinks pictures are just more fun. They express more she says.

dani says.. Step this way kids. A Psycho taking pictures how

dani enjoys to be weird when nobody's looking...

She tends to think she's one hip chick.

Too kool for skool she says she is

Yet really she's just a spaz.

------------;;;-------------;;;---------------->
-Chemistry is the effing worst/hardest class ever!!! in the universe.

-Diet much?

-"Dead Leaves and the dirty ground when you're not around"
theres only 1 good white stripes song.

-I'm sick of being sick. I just want to be better. :/

</3 </3 </3 -Tired of everything. I want to fall into a deep slumber to never see the daylight again. -Any new bands I should know about? I need new bands. -84 days of skool left. -HOw long has it been since I listened to this cd? -I ate oatmeal for dinner. It used to make me barf. -Happy Sad, Happy Sad, Emotions keep tipping back and forth, I dont think its healthy for a gurl like me. -Need to write a poem for English [Coming Soon] -End

the first time.. in.. maybe 8 months she told me she loves me?
-I miss it.

write a poem for English?

Grandpa

I used to walk out of my bedroom and I'd see you sitting there all by yourself,
You'd have a blank look on your face as you'd stare at the clouds go by.
You'd just sit there like you weren't even alive.
You'd look so lost, and you'd seem so alone.
I wanted to be there for you, I really did,
But you couldn't even finish a simple sentence when talking to me.
You couldn't remember what happened from one minute to the next,
But I was well aware that you truly were trying your best.
Of all people, why did this disease choose you?
As our minds go forward, yours only turns back.
Since I was little, most of your attention was focused on me,
Now you can't even keep your eyes focused, let alone recognize me.
You used to be so strong and lively,
Now all that's left is skin on bone.
I'll never forget the heartache, watching you slowly wither away.
The last time I saw you will be the last time indeed.
From now on, Grandpa, you wont know me.

Tomorrow = Melee, Hello Goodbye, Dont Look Down.
I want to pet a white tiger. o0 la la.

I miss __________
Mary
Katie Jo
Lindsey
(enter your name here)

I think I'm gonna get my hair done the weekend of the 14th.
How exciting, I cant wait. I feel like a peasant girl with my hair lately. oi oi oi

80 on chem quiz?! Hell yeah thats like a 900% lol

Somebody teach me how to draw. I can never do it -Well enough-

Bored. I'm so busy all the time now. :( Never have time for the important things in life such as posting in my LJ.

favorite Journals to read = keara507 and marysux.
plugged nose.
chemistry sux.
I like cookies.

I can't wait till Friday...

Dani + JOey = 1 year on Friday.

Happy Valentine's Day to every hott Live JOurnal user.

4 day weekend? Heck yeah! Skip skool again? doi. dani's too kool for skool.

It rained for 2 dsays straight! Fun without Sun.

Ok I'm out. I need to take lots O pictures reel soon. ooo yeah

Chain Reaction
Sunday
March 9, 2003 PRETTY GIRLS MAKE GRAVES

HOLY EFFING HELL!!!

If i dont find money by Sunday to buy a ticket I'll start killing people!!

-:- Beautiful Boy
Ahhh.
Dani <3 Valentine's Day.
Dani <3 Joseph.
Dani <3 You.

Valentines Day - really fancy restaurant then off to a musical. Ragtime. Wonderful. I had the best time. really.
rings and mix Cds. Giant Cookies and shells. Tight Shirts and ties. lots of fun involved. Pictures soon to come. Only a couple.

Art museums suck.

soon to cut my hair. I better cut/dye it this week or I'll just pull it all out.

stomach on the tip of my tongue, eyes ready to overflow.
this feeling comes too often.

when I'm sad,I drink Milk.

(I'm lactose intolerant)

.X.

EVERYONE SHOULD JOIN "THE DANIELE SUX AND SHOULD CHOKE AND DIE CLUB."

ahhh. contentment.

apologies are breaking me.


-------------------------


new hare-dew coming Saturday.

I screw up a lot.

2/27 - Hot Rod Circuit
3/3 - Finch
3/9 - Pretty Girls Make Graves

Gots all my tickets.

Dont every worry

I never Update.. so kill me.
Hot Rod Circuit <3 Andy Jackson is swoonable
Finch sux butt live. Eff .
Tomorrow = Pretty Girls Make Graves.
I miss old friends. Come out to play.
Skool is not good for my life

"Waiting through all your bad, bad days...just to end them with...someone you care about..."

I want to be perfect. Who's gonna stop me? Myself..
It's funny how things work. When you feel like the biggest screw up one minute, then all of a sudden you own the world.
I wish I could fly, Id soar over the oceans everyday.

Its only Wednesday, the weeks go by so slow. I feel fat sometimes and don't want to eat. I eat anyways and feel worse. Being sick sucks.
Mistakes lead to Fixing them...
I am sick of worrying about college, I dont want to go anymore.
Too much school is ill.
That is all.

Today was too weird. I cant even being to tell you.

I have itchy bumps all over my throat. I need a doctor.

i kno exactly where you've been.
doctors are a waste of time and money. I waited over an hour, and they said, "Well, keep doing what youre doing and feel better." What the.. NO. I need medicine not a get well wish. I missed two days of school this week. I'm gonna have a lot of crap to make up. Man oh man. I feel like poop. Joey's ditching his 1 o clock class and coming over to my house to be with his sick girlfriend. He should be here soon. I need closeness when I'm sick.

I want a baked cookie.
HOt Rod Circuit mmmm.

I'm so independent.



------------------------------------
I can't handle everything I go thru.
------------------------------------




Mine + Joey's song...

DieRadioDie - As soon as beauty dies
Gazing, across the room
I'll never forget when I laid my eyes on you
And although I have to admit
I wasn't hoping for this much

My eyes are in prision, now that I've seen you
Time holds me in, distance the key
Next to you is the only place
That Im, Im truly me

I know I don't deserve you
Hope you don't dig that deep
Scratching the Surface only creates scars
Hope you don't dig far

And I don't want, want another girl
Even if I have to wait forever
And please don't forget
Never... say... NEVER!

One life to live
Too short to waste it
Spend all my time thinking of you
How foolish of me to do

You Make Me Happy OH When Skies Are Gray And Gray And Gray

Tomorrow itll be good.
I hate Monday's. I miss Joey most then.
I cry Sundays.
4/11 = Bright Eyes <3
Somebody take me to see Cursive.
Somebody should donate clothes to me. I need new clothes really bad.
Any offers???

Ignorance! AHH i would like to yell at some people. "WAKe Up!" Id say "Are you blind to the facts?"
I hate every person who stands on the street corners with their signs "Love Not War" "No Blood for Oil"
Are you a complete imbecile?! Today I heard a man say,
"I can't believe this country will go start bombing other countries without them having bombed us first."
If I was there, I, a sixteen year old 109lbs little blonde girl would have slapped that 40 year old, overweight, white man. I didn't realize you wanted to get bombed...

I don't know if you've looked into it all as much as you think you have. Do you realize at all what a perverse psycho that Saddam is? Shooting random woman and children on the streets? Raping women and the pushing them off balconies to their death. And yes Iraq has done many things to America.. the news does not tell everything that is going on in the world. They catch spies coming in from Iraq ALL the TIMe!! And its not about innocent people getting killed... Do you realize that bush has told them numerous times to leave their homes and get out of there. America is not out to kill innocent people. I don't know why everyone keeps thinking this. And Saddam has had those weapons after he swore he didnt.. then acts like its no big thing, and yes I do think he's stupid enough to do something crazy. This is not a brand new problem, we've been having problems with that psycho for over 13 years!!

if there was a war and California was being theatened that we are going to be bombed but the leader is warning us to get out, wouldn't you? Or would you just sit back and go on with your daily rountine? thats what most of the people in Iraq are doing. They can leave but theyre not. Obviously we dissagree completely, and I don't feel like arguing, I'm too tired. I really like you, youre one of my favorite LJ posters, so I hope this isnt gonna cause conflict, but I mean nothing you can say about this will change my mind.

ok is it really cute or really gross when you fall asleep hugging you boyfriend and you wake up to find he had drooled on your face? lol

I'm tired.!! I never do homework. silly me.

now she whispers into the mirror.. I broke it
no escuela tomorrow. EXCELLENT But... awkwardness too.

My boyfriend's better then yours!!! waaaaaaah

I have a 69% in chem. WTH! I need just one more point. I need to bring it up within 2 months i think?

dinner and a movie sounds delightful.

I need a new place to host pictures online. They all expire in like a month.. any suggestions?

I need a new cd. i need money. i need some lovin.

I want to hold somebody's hand. mmm

I'm in love!!!!!!! Nobody tell Joey.!!!

Evidence....




Holy Effing hell!!


Barracuda <3 <3 <3


oh yeah, i hate mondays.
that is all.

I'm in love!!!!!!! Nobody tell Joey.!!!

Evidence....




Holy Effing hell!!


Barracuda <3 <3 <3


oh yeah, i hate mondays.
that is all.

You find out something new everyday

Just when I think things are starting to be good, I get slapped in the face. I don't know about things, I don't know what to do about things... I've never had such a deep pain inside my stomach before. Don't tell me everything will be okay, You're not me, you have NO idea! And don't tell me to be happy because as of right now I'm not and I wont be.


"This is where I say I've had enough
And no one should ever feel the way that I feel now.
A walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises
And I don't believe that I'm getting any better."

I don't want to go to school today. I just want to be left alone and be sad all day. I don't want my friends talking to me and I don't want to smile.

nothing... nothing.
I felt so freaking .. down today that I called my grandma and had her pick me up from school at 12:30, I tried earlier, but she wasn't home.
I came home and crawled in bed way under my covers and went to sleep sweating."everyone watched me waste myself"
I couldn't even smile today. I haven't eaten since lunch time yesterday and I'm a little hungry, but I don't feel like eating. I still have that pain in the pit of my stomach though. It made me cry again today. // It's better it's me then them. I feel so unloved and alone today, I think I might be. There's for evidence to differ. "I've been bleeding well from this old wound, cleaning it with salt, so it will still feel new."

trying to get my mind off things. so freaking bored, I feel like crap. I'm soo. .. like wornout by this. will it end? when?
-------------------------------------------------
The worst part is i feel this horrible and you don't even seem to care.


Name: Daniele
Age: 16.5
Weight: 106 lbs. today
Ethnic Backround: white euro stuff.
Hair: short.
Complexion: good
Glasses/Contacts?perfect vision.
Zodiac: dont care
Location: Cali
Occupation: student
Residence: my house
Personality: usually really funny
Shaven/Beard/Mustache? umm no
Siblings: 3 brothers, 1 sister, and Andrew
Rank: second oldest
Night Owl/Early Bird? I like night,
Pets: cats. and chinchilla
Number of times engaged/married: zip

FAVORITES

Color: vivid green
Meal: Chinese chicken salad
Sandwich: BLT or club
Soup: potato
Meat: hamburger
Recipe: marshmellow
Movie: Willy Wonka. Get Over It. 10 things...
Newspaper: ,...
Comic Strip: ?
Cartoon: fairly odd parents.
Cartoon Character: Gir
Candy: Gummie Bears
Snack: cookies!!! and brownies!!
Season: Summer
City: San Fran.
Ice Cream Flavor: bubble gum
Ice Cream Topping: whipped cream (too bad im lactose intollerant)
Soda: dont drink it.
Animal: otter
Music: indie. emo
Song: a lot
Singer: ben kweller?
Game: battleship maybe.
Subject: photography .. next year
Color Ink: green
Holiday: christmas
Perfume/Colonge: my cotton candy spray
Fruit: mango. + orange.
Vegetable: carrot
Flower: daisy
Store: AE
Outfit: dont care
Poet: dr suese
Author: -----

MISCELLANEOUS

Hobbies: computer. photography
Idea of a Romantic Date: going out
Mama's Boy/Daddy's Girl? neither
Want Children in the Future? 1
Quirks: i should be a comedian
Crayons/Markers/Chalk/Pencil/Ink/Charcoal/Paint? fun
Socks/Barefoot/Slippers? barefoot
Prefer to Have True Love or Good Luck? True Love
Favor Chocolate? no
Favor Peanut Butter? mmmm..
Favor Whipped Cream? i wish i could eat it
Religion: Christianity
Prefer Thunderstorm/Blizzard/Flash Flood/Tornado/Hurricane?lightening?
Prefer to See a Woman with Her Hair Up or Down? dont care
Prefer to See a Man with Long or Short Hair? long. not like.. long.. emo long
Notices First on a Man/Woman: face/ smile/ arms.

HEIGHT: 5'4"
HAIR COLOR: blonde.
SKIN COLOR:very white
EYEBROWS: dark
EYE COLOR: blue
ABOUT EARS: pierced 7 times total.
ABOUT LIPS: i hate them
ABOUT TONGUE: know many tongue tricks... ;]
ABOUT CHIN: its in the right spot
SHOULDERS: boney
MUSCLES: have none
STYLE: i luv button up long sleave shirts. + jeans.
PIERCINGS: 7 in my ears. i want more.
---------------
---Right Now---
---------------
WHAT COLOUR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: plaid pj pants
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: Dashboard - So Beautiful.
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: stinky breath
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: its really hot in my room. im sweaty.
HOW ARE YOU?: really lost and alone.
---------------
---Do you...
---------------
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: not really
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: lots probably
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: um yeah i guess
LIKE TO DRIVE?: its kinda boring but i'll do it, i dont mind
---------------
---Favorites---
---------------
TV SHOW: Friends, American Idol, Gilmore Girls, Even Stevens, Match Game
SHAMPOO: Dumb Blonde
CONDITIONER: Dont use it
BOOK: To Kill a Mockingbird.
MAGAZINE: I dont really read them ever.
NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: lemonaid
THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: watch movies. eat pretzels
BAND OR GROUP: Melee
HANGOUT: Disneyland
FEELING: happy....
DOG BREED: jack Russell!!
-----------------
---Have you...
-----------------
BROKEN THE LAW: most likely
RAN AWAY FROM HOME: almost
EVER CHEATED ON A TEST: yeah..
STAYED UP TILL FOUR ON THE PHONE: but of course
SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: a couple times when i was young,
EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: no. I'd vomit
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: yes
EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: not once
USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: nope
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: all the time.
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: a few times in the morning.
BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: yep
CRIED IN PUBLIC: yeah, but i hate it.
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: mm hmm

----------
---Love---
----------
BOYFRIEND: yes
GIRLFRIEND: negative
SEXUALITY: straight. very straight
CHILDREN: none, i still am one.
CURRENT CRUSH: ...
BEEN IN LOVE?: yes
HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: once maybe
BEEN OUT WITH SOMEONE: yeah...
TOO SHY?: only around people i dont know
BEEN HURT?: too often..
HAVE YOU EVER SAID "I Love You" AND MEANT IT?: yea
YOUR GREATEST REGRET: too many...
WHO WAS YOUR FIRST BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: David
GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: yes,

------------
---Random---
------------
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: not yet
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: DC - The Swiss Army Romance
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?: vivid green. today I'd be dark blue.
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: i dont know anymore.
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: i want cursive.
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: Paul.Tasia.Joe.Lauren.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?: disneyland
HOW DO YOU WANT TO DIE?: dont care
-------------------------------
---When/what was the last...---
-------------------------------
TIME YOU CRIED?: this afternoon
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: this week from Mary <3
YOU GOT E-MAIL: today
THING YOU PURCHASED: Mac Lipgloss.
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: Will + Grace
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: Confessions of a Dangerous Mind... I think
-------------------------
---Your thoughts on...---
-------------------------
ABORTION: totally against
TEENAGE SMOKING: smoking is so stupid. get a life
PMS: too many girls get it
SPICE GIRLS: old skool
PREMARITAL SEX: bad bad bad
DREAMS: Im a dream waster, mine are all random and pointless.

Another sleepless night. I can not sleep. I can not eat. I'm crying so much that my face is sore. I need a hug so bad right now I can't even express it. A real hug . Why don't I have ANYBODY to talk to??
Nobody's online and i need to talk to somebody, not later, now.
I feel like I'm nothing. Like I'm just some stupid pawn in a game.
As I type, I find Myself continuously pressing the backspace key. The things I want to write, the things I feel, I don't want people to read. I don't want people to be worried about me or anything. I cant express myself. I'm just soooooooooo alone!!! I don't know what to do!!!

My whole world is falling apart and i just have to sit here and watch.


"In the blink of an eye, I watch as my soul dies. In only a moment, my heart is shattered to nothing. I have lost everything I am and ever will be forever. Guilt and anguish consume me. I could never make this feeling leave. Tears now my only words. As silence fills the room. I have lost everything I am and ever will be forever. I have lost everything."

the things that are keeping you here are not keeping me here
so i finally got some sleep last night. That is.. after I took 5 Benadryl. :x
School started out really bad with my teacher yelling at my and saying how he hates people like me. I almost cried.
But It kinda got better, I just did my best not to think about things and I was all right for the most part.

Although I have not eaten since lunch time on Wednesday.
I have lost over 5 lbs. NOt exactly sure how much, I'll get back to you on the exact number.

Everyone go download this song. Its amazing! Jeez to everyone who used to be pissed cuz I would never post, I'm sure I've posted so much lately you dont even read it all ;]

contentment at last.
Yeah, I cried, but it was needed. To end the pain. And be refreshed. mmmm to smile was wonderful. I ate my first meal today. It had been over 72 hours without eating... But yeah. It was good, but it felt weird, my stomach was "trippin".
I'm tired now. But happy. THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT.

Today consistent of:
Making people laugh (more then usual), Egg Rolls, Smiling, A's, test review, doctors, cookies, and hot weather.

-the doc says my knees are messed up because I have no butt muscles and it makes my knees unbalanced. lol Thats why I hate my butt so much.
-Friday = first ska show in .. a year?
Saturday = Noise Ratchet
-Dani still weighs 104lbs. hmmm. I dont look it though.
Summer is exactly two months away.. so close but so f a r..
-Do you ever feel like you need to dance? hehe. I doooo. only by myself though. eep. WILL NOT dance in public.
-Ive been sitting around in my underwear since I've been home. :x

with Joey till 3am, kissing girls, 81s, apple sauce, fashion shows. oi I wish i had my camera.

when I was sad. I didnt eat. I lost 5lbs in 3 days.

without sucking anything in...

my hips were starting to like poke thru my skin. it was kinda gross.
I'm gaining all my pudge back though. :]
Good thing Dani's happy...


I miss my long hair :( I feel blah.
I need new shoes + i need sunglasses.

I don't sleep enough. I'm tired.
Why do these sites blur my pictures?
.I complain.

Woot. Yay to my favorite Asian (user name:Untytle) getting a LJ. Everyone add him as a friend.

-Somebody should shoot me in the head that way i dont have to go to school tomorrow.



I wanna be selfish.. youre my everything.

AH HAH.

Okay so I think Noise Ratchet is going higher on my fav. bands list. <3 <3
Freaking I got a guitar pick after i had to keep asking the guy. lol. It was fun, evvvveryone was so jealous. :]
Another pick to add to my small collection

Small Pick Collection:
Hot Rod Circuit
Reel Big Fish
The Juliana Theory
Noise Ratchet

Yeah but it was freezing. I kept shivering. And There was dirt everywhere. Oh + all the girls at Joeys skool look at me really weird. It freaks me out.

Today = HOMEWORK. poop on you.
I want a pretzel.
OHHHHHH I got