Big Brother 8 Daniele Donato Live Journal: 2004 - July 2005

i have a huge face.

Last night was lovely. But I'm just playing with my emotions. I know this. I'm a stupid girl. I don't like myself, but im content with this.

Christmas didn't feel like Christmas. But I feel as though this year is a year of new beginnings & I am happy to have it begin that way.

Im watching the Rose Bowl. Screw California, I want Michigan to win, but I highly doubt they will.

More than anything I dont want to go back to school on Monday. The thought alone is very depressing. I need to go to a show. I havent been in absolutely forever!! I need to get a job as well. I cant wait till I get a car. Itll be amazing. I still need to upload pictures from my trip, but it wasnt working so i dont want to keep trying. I have a lot I could say really but all my thoughts are backed up from my trip that I dont know where to start. crap.

"Some of the best things in life are total mistakes"

I saw big fish today & it is an amazing movie. Go see it. I wish I could draw. If I could I'd draw all the time. I use to draw occasionally but i don't anymore because I sucked. You know how you have that one phone call you look forward to?? The phone call that totally makes your day worth while? I missed it again today. *sigh* My music is so amazing. Im glad im a real music buff. haha. But i like dumb music too. Like I still need the Timberlake cd & the new britney cd. Cuz theyre fun to be retarded to, so somebody burn them for me. xxx. Does anyone know the name of Adam Brody's band?? I really want to know. I need a really cute guy to ask me on a date so i dont feel like a reject anymore. I want to date a foreign boy. age.. 19-21, yes sir thats what i need. I have so much to say still.


ps. sorry if i post pictures of myself too much, I realized the cause though. & that is because theres nothing else to photograph around my home. blah. I need pictures that have meaning.

"Some of the best things in life are total mistakes"

I saw big fish today & it is an amazing movie. Go see it. I wish I could draw. If I could I'd draw all the time. I use to draw occasionally but i don't anymore because I sucked. You know how you have that one phone call you look forward to?? The phone call that totally makes your day worth while? I missed it again today. *sigh* My music is so amazing. Im glad im a real music buff. haha. But i like dumb music too. Like I still need the Timberlake cd & the new britney cd. Cuz theyre fun to be retarded to, so somebody burn them for me. xxx. Does anyone know the name of Adam Brody's band?? I really want to know. I need a really cute guy to ask me on a date so i dont feel like a reject anymore. I want to date a foreign boy. age.. 19-21, yes sir thats what i need. I have so much to say still.


ps. sorry if i post pictures of myself too much, I realized the cause though. & that is because theres nothing else to photograph around my home. blah. I need pictures that have meaning.

i want to play board games all day. Its raining & i ♥ the rain, but its cold outside. So i have my blanket & my slippers on. Im officially obsessed with MySpace.com. All it takes is one night of boredum. I want to drink hot chocolate & make smores too.

haha this guy from the bookstore asked me out. he's 23. :x

Q are you gonna go out with him? ;) is he cute?

A haha. i dont think so. 23 is .. kinda too old. hes just not my type.. at all. hehe. I think hed have to be way way hot for me to go out with him.

my face hurts. Smiling for over an hour as wide as I possibly can. ♥ Today I was having a really hard day. Not well at all.

But it was raining.. & that usually makes me happy, but it wasn't working today. Then Ryan called & we talked forever. I'm so jovial after i talk to him every time. Its really funny how one person can totally change your mood. I want him to move out here sooner.

♥

Today I:

- Went to Disneyland & got an application.
- Sang really loud to Ben Kweller with the windows down & sun glasses on & felt cool.
- Went to the mall & bought makeup. (im obsessed with makeup)
- Went to Lindsays house & ate dinner. We watched Finding Nemo & Just Married *i hate that movie.
- Came home to a package from Mary ♥ ♥ I love you more then most anyone ever.
- Talked on the phone. But not long enough.
- Smiled & said, "I am content". ( This was around 2pm when i was driving in Anahiem. )

♥

& you could have it all!!! ....
I trust as far as I can spit

Saturday, January 17th at 8:o0am; I am going to an audition to become a character at Disneyland.!! They are hiring characters from the following movies:
Cinderella
Beauty & the Beast
Little Mermaid
Snow White
Alladin
Peter Pan
Marry Poppins
& Alice in Wonderland
could I be more excited?? No, I dont think so. But we'll see I know I'll cry if i dont get hired so im trying not to get to happy yet.

Its funny how I always get ready & have nowhere to go..

Trevor, this cute boy, gave me his #. hehe. Too bad I'm too shy.

Tomorrow we return to school. I seriously want to cry. I detest school with all I am. 5 more months.. I truly hope they are the fastest 5 months of my entire life.

mmmmm
"I want a girl who will laugh for no one else, when I'm away she puts her makeup on the shelf, when I'm away she never leaves the house."
I love that lyric. ♥

I had a nice day I suppose.

talked to Andrew & talked to michelle. ♥
theres so many underclassmen I'm going to miss to death after graduation.

phone calls & instant message conversations make my days worthwhile. ♥

I got beat up in the game today. Poor me. Im fragile.

Ive got nothing. Im just tired. Lame LJ posts sux. go me.

"I'm so addicted to you you're such a dick to me" -Lit.

"Im a dick, im addicted to you.." -Simple Plan

yeah these are the things you realize when youre bored. Ü

I woke up today with a fever & I was exhausted. So I went back to sleep & slept till after noon. Oh man it was delightful. I finished cleaning my room!! I did it a little at a time this time. It looks so wonderful. I love having a clean room I just have a really hard time keeping it clean. I'm messy. & i hate cleaning!! I have 10 new bruises from yesterdays game, all on my left leg. They hurt & are ugly. yay.. Im really hungry. I should go cook some food. Did you know lit is actually a good band?? Seriously. hehe. I smell good.

"I'm so addicted to you you're such a dick to me" -Lit.

"Im a dick, im addicted to you.." -Simple Plan

yeah these are the things you realize when youre bored. Ü

I woke up today with a fever & I was exhausted. So I went back to sleep & slept till after noon. Oh man it was delightful. I finished cleaning my room!! I did it a little at a time this time. It looks so wonderful. I love having a clean room I just have a really hard time keeping it clean. I'm messy. & i hate cleaning!! I have 10 new bruises from yesterdays game, all on my left leg. They hurt & are ugly. yay.. Im really hungry. I should go cook some food. Did you know lit is actually a good band?? Seriously. hehe. I smell good.

my computer didnt screw up once all day. So rad.

New Screen Name : DanieleKillsYou Add it, l♥ve it.

Im really happy. I like being happy.

could I be more happy??!!

I'm such a gurl!!! ♥

after practice i went to get my bag & i have 1 missed call & a voice mail... trevor. ♥ haha. made my day.!!

3 hours on the phone? Holy Cow!! ♥

CDs I need burned for me:

The Anniversary
New Amsterdams
The Faint
Britney Spears In the Zone.

yes so if you have any make me happy please. ♥

Yesterday at the mall I tried on this dress & i think I REALLY want it for prom its so beautiful.

Trevor called me again today but my phone didnt ring so I missed it. poop!

We lost our game today. we havent lost in a long time. I sucked so bad.

It was Andrew's Birthday today!! I ♥ Andrew.

Yesterday morning we re-did our Hamlet video for English. We did it as Barbies. It was wonderful. I was cowgirl Barbie. That took awhile. & i had to wake up early so that stunk. But its ok. Then I was really bored for most of the day. Sitting on my butt & on the internet. Then I got tired but couldn't fall asleep laying in bed. Then my phone rang & I saw the name "Trevor" on the screen. Wonderful. I seriously cant even tell you how giddy I get. Then I left & went to Rilo Kiley with Paul. ♥ soo amazing. Both opening bands were awful, but Rilo Kiley (acoustic) was lovely. Jenny Lewis came & walked through the audience it was cute. & they covered "Simply Irresistible" so beautiful. Effing genius. &&& They talked about Blake's days on Salute Your Shorts & that was hysterical -->

"Now somedays, they last longer than others..
But this day but the lake went to fast.
And if you want me, you better speak up I wont wait.
So you better mooooove fast."


ps. the 2 sky pictures i took Christmas morning on the way to FL.

Today was so boring. school stinks. But we got our soccer sweatshirts finally & they're cute.
Umm. Nothing really the only thing I have to say is that messages are the best thing ever.

"Just calling to say a bunch of stuff and like and stuff. And talk about nothing for a ridiculous amount of time."

this makes me want to dance.
Today. Umm. School is icky. I lost my new sweatshirt because I'm dumb of course. Andrew drank my grape soda. Grape soda is so yum. ♥ I'm not doing good in school & that makes me really unhappy. But its my own indolence & so you shouldnt feel bad. We lost our very first league game today & that makes me even more unhappy. I did like 5 slide tackles though I was amazing. I got a whole bunch of texts from Trevor though & that made my unhappiness go away. Paul burned me both Faint cds. wonderful. I need to make I think 2 or 3 cds. Cuz I always make amazing cds. I like talking about girly things on the long bus rides home.

Today had to have been the worst day Ive had in a really long time. I'll post later, I'm just not in the mood... at all. I just want 1 person to come online or call me. :/

So today was one of those days when everything in the world goes wrong. It was pretty awful. But I did have a few good moments of good laughs with friends. ♥ Skylar sent me a text in the morning & that made me smile. We took yearbook pictures @ the park & then had In N Out for lunch. I saw somebody from Andrew's work & i was really surprised he remembered me. He's really nice. Andrew gets a big fat hug tomorrow because I love his guts. Oh & this guy Cortney hates is going to ask her to prom I cant wait to see her reaction as she says no. There's a lot of movies I really want to see. & I want to go see Big Fish again. Yesterday I made Trevor the most amazing cd. & i decorated it all awesome & even the box to send it in. I'm the best. ha. At least I liked my hair today... :P

EFF ME!!
Can i cry now?
I suck at everything & seriously I'm never good enough. & i hate it. Maybe I try too hard.

I'm not going to cry though thats lame. I'm going to be bitter & go drive around & look for somewhere else to work instead.

I really want you to call me or text me back & say "I'm not doing anything today I REALLY want to hang out with you" & then I'll say, "I'll be right there."

She's a dreamer

ok REVISION to my Feelings an hour ago.

Daniele is happy & she is amazing.!! haha.

I think I just got a job at Hollister. go me. I went in to Abercrombie & Fitch to get an application & i was talking to both managers (two really cute [one was gorgeous] young guys) and I guess you have to be 18 to work @ A&F. But the one guy said you can be 17 to work at Hollister & i told him my story of how they screwed me this summer. He said I dont see any reason why they shouldnt hire you. so he got my name & number & said hes going to talk to the manager over there & try to get me a job. & he told me when im 18 to come apply @ A&F. I said "oh i will" haha. ♥ boys. Thats so nice though. He said I should be getting a call soon. I'm happy.

& i really want to go out today. NObodys around. I want to go to the beach & hang out.

haha. so funny. I had a dream about that really cute manager from A&F. Thats so funny. I'm a weird girl.

I hate when nobodys online. I want to go drive but I dont have a destination. I love driving alone so much. haha. yeah, weird girl....

so I cant find my TJT "Emotion is Dead" cd effing anywhere. :( That makes me really unhappy. Today was extremely boring. I wish I had more active friends. But later I went to dinner with my dad. I eat so freaking much. I feel like a cow. I have no self control & i get home & keep eating even though I'm full. We rented "Confidence" good movie. Then I came home went online bored. & Paul & Joe came over for me to take Joe home? hah yeah. I want Joe to ask me to Prom. But I dont think he will. I just dont want to go with anyone else really. *sigh
Tomorrow is going to suck. Esp considering I have to wake up in 5ish hours for practice in the morning. LOVELY.
I haven't kissed in so long. & I need to duh. i miss it.

Note: I DETEST SLOW DRIVERS

do i seriously need to go to practice?

I HATE MY SCHOOL!!!

i told my grandma, "i honestly dont know how im going to make it 4 more months."

"I DON'T WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY FOREVER!!"

as i told paul; I want to take pictures of pretty things, but theres nothing to photograph. Everything is ugly today.

& sometimes i just want to listen to some hardcore crap but i have nothing. The hardest I own is probably..Thursday?
& sometimes i just blast my music because the louder it is the harder it is to think.
& sometimes i don't think I can handle .. anything.




& please redo my journal im bored of it.

I had so much fun last night. Actually yesterday was just a good day. Made up for the last. Strangers telling you youre beautiful when you look like crap helps your ego.
Driving around listening to Aqua because that was our favorite cd in 6th grade when we were best friends. Going to the Beach. Going to Target. Eating french Fries till they closed the place. Going lots of places really. I love friends. I love not being home & i cant wait for tonight! ♥

Favorite Line of the night:
(Setting : PetCo)
Me: "Audrey, wanna bone?"
*pause*
Me & Audrey: Hysterical laughter.

Yesterday was all planned out. Me & Audrey decided to ditch school together & have a good day instead. So We went to Venice Beach in the morning. If you've heard of Venice Beach, you know its California's weird hangout. So the first comment made was to Audrey, "I'll give you a lollipop if you come over here & blow me" WTF?! haha I was dying it was so hilarious. Nobody has tact down there & they're all hippies. So we got yelled at, whistled at, proposed to, told we're loved, followed & so much more. Everyone kept getting in my face though & i dont like that. But Holy crap It was great in a creepy way. Then we went down to Santa Monica Promenade where I almost got killed by a bird & a man started pointing & laughing. It was funny but scared me. But I was sad because I never have ANY money so I couldn't buy anything although I want everything.
Later I picked up Andrew, Paul, Cortney & Audrey again. & we all went to HG. Which is always fun but their set was too short. Then Andrew had to be home so we dropped him off & freaking drove around everywhere & ended up at the beach Jack In the Box where all these drunk people were coming in. & OMG it was so funny this one guy kept saying, "Captain Oats" & "Sandy Cohen's getting a job application." We were laughing so hard. OC Hardcore. hehe.

oh yeah & some drunk guy offered 300 bucks for a night with me. Yeaaaah!!

yesterday = the best day ever? Duh!

i got to hang out with Trevor. & it was amazing.

today Joe & mason told me I look "sexy" & "hott" in my black pants and white jeans. haha that made my day.

& im kinda confused about one thing.. but I hope that changes.

Today Annie came to my game & i finally got to meet her. & now I'm in love with her & want to hang out way more often. "She used to look good to me, but now I find her simply irresistible." Then, Paul, Little Davey, Me & Annie went to Jack in the Box & ate. & saw a guys weiner. Yeah & my game was muddy & had mud in my butt crack. Thats sexy. & i love Andrew. & hell yeah were bringing back old school words like booya, syke, moted, whack, & talk to the hand. My friends are amazing. ♥

Which O.C. Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
yeeeeah ow ow.

Yeah my effing computer is a piece of crap. & i hate it. Im tired. I get no sleep. I eat horrible. I feel sick. I cant write sonnets for homework. I suck? Hell yeah & i have nothing to say.

so yeah, friends are great & all & thats nice & like & stuff but other then that lifes kinda crap right now. & i just realized this. I dont feel good.

did LJ eff up or just on me?

Hey guess what??!! I'm a reject!! & I cant get a job because no one will hire me & i suck & more bad negative things about me!!!!
What else? Soccer, school, everything, I'm ready for it all to end. I want to hear from CSULB & want to know if I actually have a school to go to next year because if not I realized I'm moving to Sacramento. & guys who go out with you once & then never call or respond to Emails & stuff are suuuuch pieces of crap. Thats so not cool. & i dont dont want to go to Cortneys house I want to go to the beach & lay there for hours. & all my cassettes i record will not play in the car because the world in against me!
OMG i cant wait till the flipping summer!!

yeah & i love that new blink song "i miss you" effing nightmare b4 xmas !! ow ow.

& what the heck is the name of the oasis song in the credits of the butterfly effect?? I cant remember!! ps i love that movie.

ok so today was a good day. Friends seriously make me feel so happy when Im not. & i can live with that. I realized I photograph horribly. I realized I need a million new cds. I realized I never get what I want.

man, today is a confusing, thought provoking day. & im so glad my dad is on his way back from vegas. dinner with pops tonight. haha my dad is way to young to be called pops. So I realized today duh Oasis has always been one of my favorite bands i just forgot. & yes mason says im boy crazy, but after 2 years of not being allowed to be, i think i have every right. I just need it in return haha. & it rained today & you know i got really happy. & i had fun in practice today because im funny. & listening to blink is so silly. & i suck at writing sonnets.

♥

today our senior class went to the abortion clinic & held up a bunch of pro life signs & it was a lot of fun & people honked & gave up thumbs up. Me & Audrey liked when people liked us. hehe. Its raining again & im so happy. It stopped for our game & rained after. thats so amazing. & i feel sick. & tonight Jess comes back on gg!!! ahh im so excited. & im going to the boys soccer game right now, even though I dont feel good & im really tired.