Big Brother 8 Dick vs. Daniele

http://www.midseasonreplacements.com/wp/?p=4298

Sunday’s show was Big Brother’s version of a clip show, where the two remaining houseguests sit around the house and (prompted by the producers) reminisce about the past season. So we’ll fast forward with a photo recap of the clip show.

“We are awesome! We won the game! I can’t believe that loser Zach thought he could beat us!”

”I don’t agree with your methods, but it worked”

”Daniele, we are the best people to ever play this game.”

”It’s been sooooo hard. It’s been harder for me than anybody. Remember all those fights?”

”This is sooo frustrating! You’re a like having a mean friend! You’re not listening!”

”Oh, Daniele, I want to be a father now that you’re an adult I don’t have to raise you or anything. You’ll bring your cute friends by my bar after this, right?”

”Ha, I’m glad reality TV has made that all better! It really turned around during the first round of the final HOH competition, remember?”

”I can’t go on, Daniele. This worse than the time I had to massage Dee Snider’s prostate.”

”Dad, I know you can do it. But if you can’t, it’s OK. If there’s one thing I’m used to, it’s you disappointing me.”

”Does anyone care about that prick yelling abuse at me for seven hours? Or that i won that round? Zach so angry!”

”That was the best Dad. I really liked how CBS played championship music even though you lost. And all the hate you spewed reminds me of all your other awesome, obscenity-laden rants.”

”I remember too, honey. It was either my strategy or I really am an abusive asshole. Who cares? They were a bunch of defenseless losers, anyway. Look at them.”

”Ha, ha! Honestly, I’m glad you got rid of them! The worst was Jen thinking she could fight back!”

“Don’t blow smoke on me!”

”Stupid bitch. What a catastrophe of a human being! You know who else I liked calling a bitch? Amber. ”

”Sob. God, I need help with dieting and not sucking. Sorry about the meth addiction.”

“Don’t cry Amber! You’ll be a model when you get out of here. I’ve been praying on it over at the jack shack”

”Thanks Jameka! I could easily win America’s Next Top Model with my looks and personality. After all, I have a child to think about when I’m not on meth.”

“Don’t hurry back, Mom.”

”Remembering that was sooooo frustrating. Honestly, people don’t know how hard it is.”
”Hey, do you think the showmance between Jessica and Eric will work out?”

”I love you. Move to Kansas and stay with me forever.”

”Sure, who needs culture, art, music, diversity. As long as there’s cable and I can visit my family for Thanksgiving, I’m good. Oh, and I get to bone you too, right? That’s part of deal.”

“You’re funny. Jews don’t celebrate Thanksgiving! It’s when Jesus gave the Indians smallpox.”

”…..um…. Who cares, you’re still hot”

”I don’t care either! You still have a huge trouser twinkie. Now let’s gross everyone out by sucking face in the HOH room.”

”Hey! Eric’s not the only one who got to cheat on their lover in the house. What about my true romance with Nick?”

”Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiicccccckkkkkkk!!!!!!”

“Braaiiiiiiiinssssss! No, wait, I mean… Daaannnieelllllle!!!!. You’re the beeeeeeeessssss kneeeeeesssssss!!!! Have my suitcase keeeeeyyyyyyyy!!!!!!”

”Good times, good times. Honestly, I can’t wait to see how many collages he’s made for me when I get out. Remind me to break up with my boyfriend, too”

”Whatever. The best part will be going to Europe when this is all over. “

”But not with each other, and not if I win, sucka! I mean, Dad.”

”We couldn’t have made it without each other…This is the dream come true. This is a happy ending.”